Saturday, August 13, 2011

Transitions are awkward.

(warning: this is a little more serious than usual)

I've been trying to not think much about the implications of moving to Alabama - partly as a form of denial, and partly because I want to enjoy my time here, and partly because, well, the decision has been made, so there isn't much to do with those thoughts.

But I am struggling to figure out what expectations I have of myself going forward. I do see Alabama as something of a new start, a change to build a community of people from scratch, instead of relying on family, old friends, and the nature of school to be around people. I also see it as a time that Curtis, me and Kenny can take that next step as our own family unit. As much as we have loved being near our family at the beginning of our marriage, I personally think that being away will help us mature as a couple, and as individual adults.

I also expect other things, like finally solidifying healthy habits like eating well and exercising, finding a church that I will join, praying more often, finding and interesting job, and just trying to be a happier, more outgoing person, who get more out of each day.

But some days, like today, I wonder if I'm expecting too much out of simply a move. Yes, I think my excitement over finding work in Alabama is genuine, if I had stayed here I would have dreaded looking for work, whereas I'm really excited about it in Bama. But the other things - my life will not get simpler just because I'm done with school, so why am I expecting all of these changes. I'm also scared about the distance for sure - although I think it will be a good thing in the long run. I'm just not sure whether the weight (figurative and literal) that I seem to carry around with me here will be lessened there.

The good thing is, a new start is better than a no start. And I feel more connected to God than I have in a long time. And I am grateful for my friends, for being so supportive of this move, and already excited about visiting. And most of all, I am grateful for my family, my husband especially, for being so loving, so supportive, and so willing to take on a new adventure like this. It may not be all that I hope for, but it will be something. :-)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

1 comment:

Addy said...

It was really nice to hear about all your hopes and expectations of your move. I think it's a really common thing to expect a lot out of big changes (I'm sure I'll be doing the same thing next year, and am even doing that to a certain extent this year, just with changing schools).

I really hope that all the good things you hope for come true in your new environment.

I will be sending many good vibes your way and can't wait to hear about your move.