The Day Cal Football Died

The Day Cal Football Died
(Shamelessly Stolen from a member on thebootleg.com)

A long, long time ago...
They can still remember
How Cal Football made them smile.
The Bears won games and not by chance.
Oh, how they made Cal fans dance.
And won away games once in a while.

But Big Game Week made them shiver.
With every recruit test score delivered.
Bad news ‘bout the Weenies;
Who knew Bear ‘nads were that teeny.

I can't remember if they cried.
When they saw their team was not bonefide.
But it deeply hurt their pride.
The day Cal football died.

Chorus
Oh, My, my, Poor Old Oski has died.
Drove my chevy to Big Game,
But the Bears were so lame.
The poor old Weenies left embarrassed and shamed.
Singin', "Let’s give a new stadium a try,”
" cut some sports, then have a good cry.”

Why did they think they were a cut above?
And have faith in Tedford, even love?
Even if Barbour told them so,
How could they think Cal would make a bowl?
Will a new field save Cal’s football soul?
While the Cardinal score goal after goal.

Well we know that they’re tired of Jeff.
‘cause they can’t blame each loss on the refs.
And with each loss they can’t excuse.
Man, we’ll hear those bitches and boos.

Poor Bear fans have gotten stuck.
With a s**tty stadium and a team that sucks.
And they knew they were out of luck
The day Cal Football died.

Chorus

They were told a new stadium would be long fought,
Then in 10 months saw what Stanford got.
But that’s not how it used to be.
When Sandy hatched up her grand plan,
To build a field she said, yes Cal can.
Paid for with money from you and me.

And while the plan was in the air.
Sitters made some trees their homey lair.
The project was in danger.
Could you make a story stranger?
Cal had to raise some student fees.
And coax the sitters down with their fleas.
And they sang sad songs in the dark.
The day Cal Football died.

Chorus

Helter-skelter, Mansion ran for shelter.
His passes flew off with the strangest vector.
Ten yards short and falling fast.
They bounced high off of the grass.
They got no yards with the forward pass.
And their run game hit a big impass.

Now the half-time air was sweet perfume.
The Stanford Tree in perfect bloom!
Cal fans got up to dance.
But they never got the chance!
`cause the Bears tried to run down field;
But the Stanford D refused to yield
We stood and yelled, “Hey, that’s our deal!!”
The day Cal Football died.

Chorus

And on play after play we watched them fail.
As Skov’s big hits made Tedford wail.
Who came up with that weak *ss spread?
So come on: Jeff be nimble, Jeff be quick!
Hope that new pistol does the trick.
‘Cause without change Cal Football’s dead.

And as they watched the Bears lose the axe,
They wished their team had bigger sacs.
With each pass Luck completed,
The Bears felt even more defeated.
As All Right Now played into the night,
The Bears lost their will to fight.
We saw Harbaugh laughing with delight.
The day Cal Football died.

Chorus

This year the Card might just see Roses.
Which Cal hasn’t seen since the days of Moses.
But the Bears will always have The Play.
Though we know they cheated on that day.
His knee was down, there was no flag.
The Pac-10 refs were in the bag.

But this year they lay “cramping” on the grass,
After Stanford soundly kicked their *ss.
For now their joy would be past glory,
To retell this tale would be too gory.
Still Cal fans could proudly exhort,
“Our best team is a club sport!”
The day Cal Football died.

Chorus

I met a girl who wore gold and blue.
And I asked her for some happy news,
She said Stanford turned her app away.
But for Bear fans there’s no worse fate,
Attending the second best public school in state.
But there’s always grad school if you wait.

On Berkeley streets: the frat boys screamed,
Code Pink cried, and the hippies dreamed.
But not a word was spoken;
The Campanile bells were broken.
The game they lost they wanted most.
And Cal’s last fans caught BART to the coast.
The day Cal Football died.

Oh, My, my, Poor Old Oski has died.
Drove my chevy to Big Game,
But the Bears were so lame.
The poor old Weenies left embarrassed and shamed.
Singin', "Let’s give a new stadium a try,”
" cut some sports, then have a good cry.”